I’m not sure if I’m really stuck, but it feels that way.

A few years ago, I used to write articles, poems and stories; I love writing.

However, something shifted during my healing: my why. And that changed everything. My reason for sharing used to come from a wounded place. It was comfortable and familiar.

It felt just right, but not anymore. Now, sharing from that place feels awkward. That fire is gone, and I haven’t found a new one yet, one that feels more real and aligned with my truth.

It’s strange to be in a space where pain is no longer my door to connection.

But how else do we connect, without performing or having to prove our worth? No one ever taught me another way.

Nobody told me how hard this part of the healing journey would be. How confusing, frustrating and alone it can feel at times.

Sometimes I have moments when I wish I hadn’t started the journey of finding my true self. But it doesn’t last long; I don’t want to be in that place I was before. Those drives were not mine to carry; they made me feel heavy and tired.

I want to learn to speak my truth without bleeding. To find my voice again, my real one. To show up as the most congruent version of myself, even when it feels like it’s not fully here yet. To be patient as I put myself together again.

If you’re here too, know that you’re not alone. Keep going. You might be tired of hearing this, but it is all part of the journey.

One day, you’ll realise the pain feels too heavy to carry, and you’ll put it down so you can fly.

The joy will not feel like an unreachable goal, but a birthright.

The silence will feel comfortable, and you’ll crave more of it. And in that still place, you’ll be able to hear the real drive of your soul.