Sometimes I wonder if I would have started the journey into entrepreneurship six years ago, if I knew how hard it would be. Maybe it’s better that I didn’t. I got to learn a lot, the hard way.

There are moments when I regret going down this path; a part of me misses that security that came with a monthly steady paycheck.  The paid holiday and sick days were a beautiful added bonus and another layer of safety.

So why did I choose this path? I’m not sure how to explain it. But there’s “something” inside of me that wants something different. It’s a quiet urge to be more, to grow, to create and leave something meaningful in the world after I’m no longer here. To heal and be free from the perceived norms and expectations (others’ and my own), that feel suffocating to me. To see what the real me looks like and what she can achieve.

There were many times when I wanted to quit and go back to what felt familiar and safe. I still do sometimes. Even now as I write this, a part of me thinks about stopping this quest that feels exhausting, because I don’t see results that can be measured  materially.

But that “something” doesn’t let me. Despite all the challenges, I can see the things I’ve gained and learnt during this journey. How they helped me become the person I am today. She might not be successful or wealthy (yet), but I like her a lot now.

I can see all that I had to heal and shift, just so I can stay on this path for so long. It was hard, but I got to experience moments of peace, self-love and lightness that I didn’t think were possible for me.

And probably the most important thing in all of this, is the connection I discovered and developed with my inner guidance. That “something”, that voice inside of me that I’m learning how to hear  and trust more often.

At times it flows, and life feels easy. Other times, I feel disconnected from it, and fear and doubt manage to creep in. Life is not so pleasant then.

It was my Psychosynthesis practice that helped me to connect with this inner guidance and learn how to hold both of these things, the good and the ugly. To become aware of the part of me who wants to soar and the other part who is happy not to fly at all.

To explore and build a foundation in the last six years, that feels more aligned with what I want to create. I got to know myself.

This complexity is part of our human nature. We’re not just one thing or another. We carry inside us a little army of selves that can either help or hinder our growth, potential and everything we try to create.

It’s your choice if you decide to acknowledge and face the army inside you or not. It’s not an easy or pleasant task sometimes. But if you are willing to face yourself fully,  you might find some deep buried treasures inside yourself you didn’t even know existed. Gifts that only you have and can offer to the world.

But in order to offer those gifts fully and in their true form, your vessel needs to be clean. That vessel is you, the real you. And that task can only be done when you are willing to face what’s hidden inside you.

The way I see it now, the journey of entrepreneurship is not just about making money; you can do that in any job. For me, true entrepreneurship is a soulful, conscious choice you make to align with your deepest values and beliefs, and to create something meaningful from that space.

The inner, matching the outer. Congruence even when nobody is watching. Actually, especially then.

It’s not an option, it’s more like a “calling”, that the voice inside you wants to experience in this life. So, is who you are now truly aligned with what you want to create or what you created already?